A Deep Fried Experience
by Hermione527
Summary: What happens when seven Hogwarts students get dumped in an American fast food place? Why don't we peek in on their 'Deep Fried Experience? R
1. Chapter 1

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A Deep Fried Experience

Summary: What happens when seven Hogwarts students get dumped in an American fast food place? Why don't we peek into their Deep Fried Experience! R&R

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Disclaimer: I own nothing but the characters you are not familiar with.

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Notes: I wrote the entire story in about three days. Hope you enjoy reading!

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Part One: Rubbish At This

One thought was going through seven people's minds: _What_ was she _thinking_!

"Hermione? Can you help me?" Ron called.

"With what?" She asked, striding over with a clipboard.

"I can't do money!" he said with a pouting bottom lip, "Trade me?"

"Ron, McGonagall has a reason she put you for the drive-in."

"But I'm rubbish at this!"

"Fine. How about you write this down, okay?"

Ron nodded and pulled a piece of paper from her clipboard.

"Hey!"

Ron grinned. Hermione rolled her eyes and handed him a pen. She then opened up the cash register drawer.

"This is one dollar. It has a one on it, see? This is a five, and a ten, and a twenty." She pointed, "A penny is one cent. A nickel," She pointed again to each one in turn, "is five, a dime is ten, and a quarter is twenty-five. With me so far?"

"Yeah…" Said Ron.

"You shouldn't need much help because it's all math. Even you can do that."

"Hey!"

Hermione laughed.

"Just…" Ron examined his paper, "Just stay here for the next order? I want to make sure I've got it."

"Fine." Hermione tapped her foot as they heard a car pull into the drive through.

Luna, who drifted absentmindedly around the Play Place, heard Ron's triumphant yell.

"Yes! I got it!"

"Well, tell them that then." Hermione said, grinning.

Ron pressed a button on his head piece.

"That's $11.34." Ron grinned.

"At the first window." Hermione whispered.

"At the first window." Added Ron in annoyance, "Thanks, Hermione!" he turned to hug her, then stopped. Deciding to shake her hand instead, he said, "Er, thanks…"

"Yeah. I mean, you're welcome. Your customer, Ron." She added, then left to check on the others. Ron tuned to them.

"Out of twelve? Sixty-six is your change. Your food will be right up." He closed the window as the car drove on.

"POTTER! We need a Mc. Chicken, large fry, diet coke, and a sundae, pronto!" he bellowed.

"Since when do you call me 'Potter'?" Harry bellowed back.

"Er, I just wanted to see how it sounded…" Ron said awkwardly.

Harry shrugged and met Ginny with the food.

"Thanks." She said.

"No problem." Harry said.

Ginny turned to give the people their food.

"Hey!" Said the man sitting in the driver's seat, "You and the other guy have the same hair. Are you related?"

"No." Ginny said, trying to hold the straightest face she could.

She and Harry burst into laughter when the driver shrugged and left.

"What? You wouldn't want to be related to that pig, either!"

Still chortling, Harry retreated towards the back. As he passed Draco at the cash register, he saw him scowling. Four giggling girls had just come in and were whispering a few feet away.

"You tell him."

"No! You!"

"No way!"

"He's so hot!"

Harry flushed until he realized who the girls were talking about and shuddered.

"Eeeeeww…"

"Shut up, Potter." muttered Draco. "If you can't decide what y ou want, I'll have to escort you off the premises."

The girls giggled at the thought. But before they could order, three new girls stepped up.

"They'll have salads and diet cokes." the red-head said, "Wouldn't want to loose their 'figures'"

She and the brunette exploded into laughter and gave each other high-fives. The blonde gave them a look, but smiled.

The other girls stalked up to them.

"Excuse me?" said the one with dirty brown hair.

"You heard us!" Said the brunette, stepping forward.

"Let them alone, Cathy." Said the blonde from the foursome. "We'll have four salads and cokes."

The red-head pretended to cough. "Hem, diet, ahem!"

The two laughed as the others glared at her. As Harry laughed, they turned their stare at him.

"Oh, er…right. Hem." he said, then disappeared to the back.

"$8.56." Draco said through clenched teeth.

_God I hate this!_ he thought.

_I _love _this! _Ron thought cheerfully, exchanging a twenty for a ten and two quarters. He waved as the car moved on.

"Ron, lunch hour's coming up." Hermione warned.

"Ah, how hard could it be?" he said.

"This is so hard! Harry, switch me! I don't understand what this boiling water and wire thing is!"

"It's a fryer. You put the potatoes in the 'wire thing' and take them out when they're golden brown." Harry said, squirting ketchup and mayonnaise on two things at once.

"Oh…" Neville said.

"No switching.." Hermione said strictly, "And lunch hour's coming up."

"Cool!" Neville said.

"We don't eat, they swarm in and we watch them eat like it's feeding time at the zoo." Hermione said.

Neville paled.

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Author's Note: So. How was it? I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Show me how you felt by reviewing! Nothing can go wrong when you do that! wink wink. See you next chapter!


	2. Part Two: American Idiots

**A Deep Fried Experience**

**Summary: **What happens when seven Hogwarts students get dumped in an American fast food place? Why don't we peek into their 'Deep Fried Experience'! R&R

**Disclaimer: **The following characters:

Haley/Bee; Madison/Mad

Heather/blond (She is very smart, however. My smartest buddy. ;)); Courtney/Fat Cow;

Cathy/Anorexic Cow; Abby/Stupid;

Catie/Fat Cow Numero II; Cody/ er… nothing really… no codename for him. Ha ha!

Belong to me (or at least my horrifically boring town). The rest, well-known characters sadly are entitled underneath J.K. Rowling's property.

**Notes: **Alright, so I haven't updated as much as I said I would. As I put in the previous chapter, this story took me three days to write. I've been working on my other fan fiction, Learning to Love Again (Which you should check out by the way; way better than this junk ;) ) for hours on end and organizing other fan fiction stories soon to come up. I apologise for the wait.

**Notes II:** If you value your knowledge and dignity, do not read further. Article beneath may cause giddiness, stupidity, and loss of fact. Possible signs of faulty after reading include excessive giggling, shortfall of memory, or itchy feet. If either of these symptoms show up, see a doctor immediately. Unless you want to become an idiotic zombie under the control of senseless humour, please choose a different story to entertain yourself with.

**Note III: ROFL!**

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**Part Two: American Idiots**

"I'll have three quarter-pounders, a double cheeseburger, two orders of fries, four sundaes, an apple pie-"

'Talk about healthy." the blonde said.

"The redhead grinned, "And a salad!"

"You can't eat all that! You'll explode!" the brunette burst out.

"Oh, don't worry, this is your order, Bee."

"WHAT? I don't think so, Mad!"

The two quarrelled as the other placed an order for all three of them.

"Hey Gin. What's up?"

"Hey, Hermione."

"How's it going?"

"Oh. I'm good, you?"

"I meant the job."

"Oh, erm. I'm good, you?" She smiled.

"Pretty Good. Giving lessons to Ron and Neville and-Malfoy, no!"

"What?" said Draco, innocently.

Hermione muttered so the surrounding couldn't hear, "You can't do magic!"

"They won't shut up!' Malfoy cried. Four new girls were giggling and staring in his direction. Hermione and Draco could hear them say;

"I'm so fat!"

"No you aren't, Catie!"

"Abby, yes I am."

"No." said Bee, "You all are."

The redhead choked on her soda and emerged laughing.

"Just… just one simple silencing charm!" Malfoy's eyes gleamed hopefully.

"No." Hermione said, firmly.

Malfoy glared, "Fine…" he rolled his eyes as a woman with four kids entered. They all clung to her legs; it was a miracle she could walk.

"Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!" sang the kids. Malfoy's nose cringed.

"No." Hermione repeated.

He seemed to struggle for a moment then said, through clenched teeth, "Welcome to McDonalds. Can I take-- your order?"

Hermione grinned, "You might just get a pay raise!"

She left towards the play place to make sure Luna wasn't lost in the pipes.

"Can- can I have a chicken sandwich-"

One of the kids lifted his small arms. "Up!" he demanded.

"Chicken sandwich, a coke, a-" she picked up the three year old.

"I want a chicken happy meal!" the boy demanded.

"Happy Meal, Happy Meal, Happy Meal!" The rest chorused.

"Four chicken happy-"

"I wanna cheeseburger!"

"Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!"

"One chicken sandwich, two chicken meals, two hamburger meals, a coke, an ice cream sun-" the woman tried quickly, but-

"ICE CREAM!"

"Five ice creams-"

"Drink?" Malfoy asked in a dull tone.

"Vodka?" the woman tried.

"For the kids." Draco said, nose wrinkled.

"Oh, sprite."

"SPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE!" the kids screeched, causing people to stare.

"Is that all, ma'am?" Draco's mouth struggled through the last word.

"Yes!" she shouted.

"31.82."

The woman pulled out a purse and handed over money as the kids sped faster than Snitches toward the play place.

"Have a good day!" Grinned Draco. As she left he muttered, "Love good's going to have fun."

"Doing okay?" Hermione asked.

"I rock at this money thing!" Ron said happily, "Why didn't I take muggle studies?"

"It couldn't have been because 'Muggles are boring'" Hermione imitated Ron, "Could it?" She smirked.

"That was a long time ago!" Ron said defiantly.

"Same time you could have signed up with me." said Hermione.

Ron stuck out his tongue at her retreating back and was surprised when she looked back at him. He grinned and turned around.

"How're you two doing?"

"Hermione, are the fries ready yet?" Neville said.

"Neville, they're still pale." Hermione said dully. She turned to Harry then turned back, "Neville!"

"What? What'd I do?"

"It's what you didn't do! The fryer isn't even on!" she flipped a switch.

"That explains it." scoffed Harry.

"Doing okay, then?"

"Are you kidding?" Harry twirled around bottles of ketchup and mustard like a cowboy would his gun, "I was made for fast food! Wait a second.." he paused.

"Don't hurt yourself, Harry." Hermione laughed then went to check on Draco again, just in case.

"What's that?" an old man practically yelled at Draco.

"4.73." Draco said.

"Huh?"

"4.73!" he said louder.

"Eh?" the man cupped his ear.

"4.73!" yelled Draco, annoyed.

"Malfoy!" Hermione scolded, "I'm going to have to dock your pay!"

"Stupid fast food." grumbled Malfoy.

"Ah," said the old man, handing over the money.

Malfoy glared as the man left, then looked down at the money, "Wait!" He called, "You gave me-" he stopped, voice dropping, "ooh, extra!"

He looked around quickly then pocketed twenty bucks.

"What're you yelling about?" demanded Hermione.

"Nothing," Draco said quickly. Too quickly. Hermione examined him for a second then left to find Ginny.

Just then about a dozen girls came in.

"POTTER!"

"What?"

"Trade me!" Draco begged. "Not more girls!"

Harry looked over Draco's shoulder, "Erm.. Okay." he shrugged.

Draco danced in triumph, then ran to the back. Music sounded from a radio in the back and Neville sand along with Eminem. "-spittin' on your onion rings!-"

"I didn't do it!" Draco said frantically.

"Huh?" said Neville.

"I didn't spit on the fries when your back was turned!" he started to sweat.

"Err…."

"Eww!" one kid said from the front, "Mom! There's sticky stuff in my fries!"

"What?" said the mom, eyed widening.

"There's-"

"That's not sticky stuff, that's-"

"Luna!"

"What?" Luna looked up. She had been telling eight kids about the Crumple Horned Snorkack. The Quibbler was spread out on her lap.

"Luna! They're-they're-" Hermione snatched up the magazine, "M-U-"

"I know that. But father says everyone should know about the Crumple Horned Snorkack." Luna said simply. Hermione blinked.

"Don't! You could get into trouble for-"

"Hermione!" Ron yelled. Hermione leapt up and sped off. Luna shrugged and continued.

"What?" Hermione panted, skidding to a halt next to him.

"Harry and Malfoy switched!" he stomped his foot and pointed to Malfoy who was singing along with Green Day and Neville into a ketchup bottle.

"Hermione!" Ginny burst out, dragging Harry by the ear towards them. "WHY did you let them switch?"

"Oh, ow, ow!" Harry whined.

"I didn't-"

"Those girls have been fawning over him for the past 10 minutes!"

"But, I-"

"Can I get another 'Amen'?" Draco sang.

"Amen!" Neville sang back.

"Shut up!" Ginny yelled.

"What's going on?" Luna drifted into the back.

"We-" Hermione tried.

"My ear's getting ripped off!"

"They switched!"

"I'm _trying _to-"

"Um…."

"They _switched_!"

"Er…singing?"

"_They switched!"_

"What is going on here? People need to place orders, there's a huge line of cars…" the manager announced. "What's going on?"

"Sorry, sir."

"Right on it."

"Got to go."

"Crumple Horned Snorkack…"

"Welcome to McDonalds. Can I take your order?"

"I'll have you know I'll be taking pay from _you,_ Miss Granger!"

"But, I-"

"She didn't do anything!" Ron, Neville, Ginny, and Harry said.

"Fine, then I'll be docking _all _of your pay!" The manager huffed off towards the counter. "I need a smoke…" And he disappeared outside.

"Man!" said Harry, stomping off toward the counter. He came back a minute later.

"Switch, Ferret Boy."

Draco rolled his eyes and left to the front where he was met with a surprise.

"Oh, hello." said Courtney, flashing him a smile, "Drah--co" She squinted at his nametag.

Malfoy looked at her.

"Uh, yeah. My name's Draco. Dra-co. Stupid Muggle." he muttered.

"Oh, sorry. My name's Courtney." she grinned again. Her teeth were yellow. **(ROFL!)**

"I know."

"You do!"

"It's only printed on your shirt a thousand times." Draco rolled his eyes, "So third grade." he grumbled. **(Ha! Like he knows fashion!)**

"Oh…right."

"Yeah. Are you done yet?"

"Come on, Draco. Wanna talk?"

"Err…"

"Bug _off _Courtney! You know he's mine!" said Cathy.

"You're too ugly!"

"I saw him first!" Catie piped up.

"Nu-uh!"

"So? You've got stupid Cody!"

"Draco is sooo much hotter than Cody!"

"Excuse me?" Abby said coming up to them.

"Cody!" exclaimed Courtney.

"Yeah. What'd you just say?" Cody was tall with messy brown hair and crooked front teeth.

"Um, nothing? I uh…"

"Hey, Cody. What's up?" Cathy said quickly.

"What were you guys just saying about me?" Cody asked suspiciously.

"Um, I um… uh…"

"She was just saying I was hotter than you." Draco said. Courtney paled, "Which, I'd say I have to agree." Draco smirked.

"You WHAT! You're MY girlfriend!" Cody accused.

"He _is _hotter!" Courtney accused.

"Oh no you didn't!" Cody said.

"Stupid American idiots." Draco muttered. He turned around and started eating a cookie.

"That's gonna go to your thighs, you know." Ginny said.

"Shut up!" Draco pouted, throwing the cookie at her.

Ginny rolled her eyes, "It's only fact." she pointed out.

**Author's Note: **Sorry I haven't updated in ages! I've been busy with schoolwork and reading and rating and all that other junk for other fan fictions. I took a bit of a break after finishing Learning to Love Again (Which you should read if you haven't. Not one of my better pieces, but pretty good in my book. Well, of course. I _wrote _it in my book. But that's free for you to decide, I suppose). If you're looking for another great fan fiction, you should check out Legolas Skies's _Double Stuffed _. It's a great read by one of my buds! ;) ;). Btu I'm off to the next chapter which may very well be up in a day or two. No promises; I'm slow at updating even if I have tons done. Don't ask me. shrugs Off the fan fiction! ;)


	3. Chapter 3: Some Evil Karaoke

**A Deep Fried Experience**

**Summary: **What happens when seven Hogwarts students get dumped in an American fast food place? Why don't we peek into their Deep Fried Experience! R&R

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything but those characters introduced in the last chapter. They, unfortunately for some, are all people at my obnoxiously boring school. Yay me. I'm surrounded by pink-nailed, crooked-toothed idiots. raises eyebrows

**Notes: **Hello. I'm finally writing again. Don't you all love me now? Lol. Well, continue reading. Hope you guys all like it! Also, check out Blackrose569 and Legolas Skies. They're both excellent writers and friends.

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**Part Three: Some Evil Karaoke**

"Hey Hermione?" Ron said, poking his head over to where Hermione stood speechless and rooted to the spot.

"Yes, Ron?" she sighed.

"You know, that was really unfair of that stupid manager."

"Yeah, I agree." said Ginny with Harry in tow.

"So, what are we going to do about it?" said Draco. Everyone stared, "What? I can't be concerned?"

"Over a mud blood?" Ron challenged.

"That was messed up, despite her blood line." Draco spat.

"Fine, so what _are _we going to do?" Harry said.

"Clouded by memories of the past, at last I see. I hear it fading I can't speak it. Or else you will dig my grave-"

"Neville!"

"What?" Neville stopped singing.

"That's it!" said Draco.

"What's it? Have I got a spot on my shirt?" He started turning around in circles, trying to examine his back.

"No! Stop." Neville stopped. Draco continued, "We'll have a karaoke party and get back at him! The noise level will be so loud, he won't be heard!"

"Then what when we all stop?" Ginny inquired, with raised eyebrows.

"We'll…." His face lit up, "We'll quit! But first, empty the cash register!"

"He's got a point." Harry said, "Maybe not the cash register thing but we should do this. For Hermione anyway." He turned to her and smiled.

"Thanks guys." Hermione muttered.

"What are friends for?" Ron gave a lop-sided grin. Hermione and Ginny burst out laughing.

"What?"

"You've got mustard on your chin, Ron." Harry said. The girls were laughing to hard, and now everyone, even Draco was as well.

"Ah, man!" Ron rubbed vigorously at his chin until it was burning. "Gone?" he asked, hopefully.

"No!" Ginny squealed.

He rubbed again, "Gone?"

They shook their heads, shaking with laughter.

Starting to get annoyed, after rubbing a while, he hissed, "GONE?"

"Forget it." Draco muttered.

"So, how do we organize this whole thing?" Harry said.

"Organize what?" (DUN DUN DUN!)

Ginny sighed, "We're going to have a karaoke party to get back at the stupid manager for cutting all our pay."

"Oh, er… okay." Luna said, "How can I help?"

"Ever assemble a karaoke dance floor and speaker system in less than ten minutes?" Draco said doubtfully.

"Yes." replied Luna. **(Draco: o0)**

"Good." Harry said, "There's no time to loose. Get out there and work your magic without letting anyone notice _you're _doing it."

Luna shrugged and left.

"Can she really do that?" Hermione asked.

"Yep." Ginny said, "Seen her do it only about a hundred times at home. She was strengthening her transfiguration skills." She added at everyone's confused look.

"Oh." They all said.

"Okay. So, now we need to figure out songs." Draco said.

"No problem." Hermione waved her wand quickly and cd s appeared. "Figure them out in a few minutes and point your wand at your head and say _Campophonus._"

They immediately went to their work. Meanwhile: Luna was jabbing her wand at certain things here and there and soon a stage was up. Multi-colored lights and speaker systems were up in a split second. Some people stopped eating and chatting to look at the stage.

"Whoa." said Bee.

"Double whoa." Mad replied.

Heather remained looking at the stage suspiciously. (DUN DUN DUN!)

"Done yet?" Hermione said.

"Yep." Neville, Ginny, and Draco.

"What song did you pick?" she asked.

"You'll find out." Ginny said, smiling.

"Yeah, what she said." Neville and Draco said at the same time.

"_Campophonus_," was heard from the three and they became deaf to all else but the music.

Hermione picked up one of her cd's and cast the charm on her head. Harry did the same.

Luna came back to find them all humming along with their songs and muttering the words under their breath. She made a waving sign to Hermione and Hermione looked up. Luna showed her five fingers, to show there were five minutes until they began. Hermione nodded and hummed her song a little longer before she was ready. She went out to the stage while Luna got everyone else ready.

"Ahem," Hermione picked up a microphone, "Hello. We um, got this stage from, uh, Portable Dance Floors Inc. and we're going to do a little karaoke round. If anyone would like to sing as well, sign up at the form and you'll be able to sing after all the scheduled have finished. Erm," she paused, "We hope you enjoy our show…"

She set the microphone back in its place and hurried to the back. "Are you all ready?" she asked. Some nodded, some murmured yes. "Good. Let's go then. Ginny, you're first."

"This looks cool." Bee said.

"Yeah, I'm signing up. You coming?" Mad said.

"Sure. Hey, Heather. We can be her back up singers!"

Heather looked hesitantly at the stage then nodded uncertainly. While they were off signing, Ginny stepped onto the stage.

"Hey," she waved at everyone. She was suddenly wearing torn and faded jeans and a maroon top showing the characters of a well-known book, the Series of Unfortunate Events. She was also wearing maroon and black bracelets and a black necklace with a maroon guitar pick. Her hair was out of its previous pony tail. "My name's Ginny and I'll be singing 'Protecting Me' by Aly & AJ."

The rest of the McDonalds staff, a.k.a. Hogwarts students, mixed in with some of the customers in front of the stage. One girl, Courtney, was calling people on her cell phone saying, "Get down to McDonalds. No. No of course not. Yes. No I'm not joking. Just get over here!" The music started.

"_You, you're always there for me_

_When I need you most  
Day and night you're by my side  
Protecting me  
When I feel like crashing down  
You seem to be around  
There you are  
You're not that far cuz_--" Ginny sang, looking straight at Harry.

"_You, you're always there for me  
When I need you most  
Day and night you're by my side  
Protecting me  
Protecting me_." Ginny finished with applause by all the people. More had shown up, thanks to Courtney's cell phone.

Draco and Neville stood up next. Draco grabbed the microphone before Neville could. "Okay." he said, "I'm going to sing a song by Korn," he paused, "and Neville here," Neville waved sheepishly, "Is going to accompany me a bit…"

Music started and soon Draco Malfoy was singing….rather good. For a Malfoy.

"_Muder! Your holding my heart, screaming_."

That was, until the doors burst open and the whole restaurant went black. Figures burst in, hooded and dressed in black robes. **(Uh oh)**

"I'm going to have to interrupt your little-" the figure who started paused, "Karaoke competition? Count me in!"

A disco ball burst from the ceiling and the robed figure threw his robes at a another of the figures. What the Hogwarts students saw, shocked them.

"Voldemort!" Harry burst out.

"Harry Potter! We meet again!"

Harry jumped onto the stage, "I challenge you-" he paused dramatically, "to a Karaoke dance-off!"

Voldemort grinned, "Scared Potter."

"Hey!" Draco yelled, "That's _my _line!"

"You wish." Harry replied.

Voldemort swooped onto the stage and the music began.

"Now all death eaters report to the dance floor, to the dance floor, now all death eaters report to the dance floor, alright stop. Voldie time."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Come here little Harry, on my lap. Guess who's back with a brand new man. And I don't mean man as in a sidekick but a death eater to do my bidding. Oh oh oh oh. No worries. Voldie got a brand new bag of spells. What else could I possibly do but tell, I gotta yell! Guess who's back, back again, Voldie's back, tell a friend!"

So the song continued while Voldemort dissed all of Harry's friends and all Harry and co. grew very very very very very very very bored. When the music ended, Harry stood up.

"That was totally pathetic." He said in a Simon accent. **(American Idol: watch it).**

Voldemort looked shocked. "Let's see what you can do, than!"

Harry jumped on the stage and grabbed the microphone from Voldemort. He had just opened his mouth to begin the song when--

**(A/N: Yes, I know I am sooo ebil! Yes, ebil, not evil. 'Tis my word, I can use it any way I can! XP Review if you want to find out the outcome! -whispers- Trust me, it's good. Muhahaha! Anywho-review!**

**Psst: Check out Legolas Skies and Blackrose569. Legolas' are hilarious and Blackrose's -- well, she gotta update. But she's writing a good Phantom of the Opera. So all you fans better check it out)**


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